I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. I certainly wouldnt throw him under the bus -just yet. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. This thread has expired - why not start your own? The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him. Because just as everyone else is saying, if you did the RIGHT thing, you shouldn't feel guilty. I am not someone that cheats on people, I am just a nice lad who gets carried away in the moment when drunk. If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. That is what separates the women from the girls. I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. For what possible reason? I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. You lied to me for 2 years? 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. Oh, I'm sure he'd be able to forgive her, LOYAL GIRL. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. JavaScript is disabled. I dont know what else to do. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. Lol You're denying him that right and being selfish. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. I kissed another man four years ago. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. I see this as two issues. I could tell that he had a thing for you. WORK. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. She had gone to bed. I was correct, she struggles with trust. Oh, I see. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another man's mouth while he stood by only to observe. Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) I didnt tell him. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. Any help or advise would be much appreciated. However, if it doesn't close itself through sustained inactivity soon then I'll probably close it myself (as the actress said to the bishop). Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. I think you already knew what you wanted to do, your husband was not home, saw an opportunity, and wanted to use being drunk as a cover story. Not just to you. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. If it in the meantime hits a nerve and makes you uncomfortable or even gets you all het up, that's your problem, not mine. (Got me cracked) 24 Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. Don't have an account? This of course over a year ago. However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. Then you must be doing it wrong. Jam, your wife holds the cards. I thought I had lost him and then bumped into him further down the street. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university. Are you sure all you did was kiss? Not work you put off until 'tomorrow' - TODAY. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. Then the women who owns the house went upstairs and never came down. Him coming to you within 2 days of his wayward deed , when he could have easily gotten away with it, this is something to consider. To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). Now is that thread on this site (people's problems)? reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. I'll see you over there. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. Lets get down to the basics here. I immediately felt totally ashamed after it happened and left the party. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. 4. You already have internalized that part. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. Almost a year ago I began university, my boyfriend and I decided we would do long distance and we are still together now. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. female I took the ride. Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. Nooooo, surely not. focus on you and your DH. I'm so confused. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. What should I do. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. If this is bothering you, then tell him. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. What!! He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." (That'll do me nicely! I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. You're the worst! in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . Ugh, basically. I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. Take it away, expand if you please! My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. IAMHIM (person claiming to be an unregistered passer-by), What are you going to do, then? Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. I was very drunk. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship; There was a line that was crossed when they kissed, he should no longer have her as a Facebook friend, or any other communication with her. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. What if your husband ever found out? You confessed your sins. Make it up to him by being an awesome girlfriend. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. Does she feel guilty over leaving me for another guy? If you both agreed not to see anyone else, how is that not exclusive? .Houston, you and I have now strengthened our bond (whereby attention and affection follow) by together having conquered a potential crisis which can now longer be called a problem rather than a PAST godsend of a dual warning (not enough attention/affection worthy of marriage) merely in problematic clothing. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. Actually I really don't have any experience at all. I feel so bad since then. Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). True mistakes get owned and rectified. Should I ask him for gas money? Well, that's all fairly laudible but You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. Make lemonade out of them. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME.