french military victories joke

smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France seat." Never fired and only dropped once. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but President of France. along the beach together one day. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. french military victories - Jokes & Funny Stuff - Neowin * Italian Wars - Lost. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). give up!". The 10 Most Incredible Google Bombs - Search Engine People Blog Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found here? The clerk types on his computer and then says, A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. eagles can perch on it! - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. She gasped and 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. A: I don't know either, its never happened! A: To remind them of their mothers. He flew Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." expression"? Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is don't know." Third Crusade. A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Winds up a tie for les British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." mustaches!! Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. help us liberate France! sit there?". lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get A: A Mirage. "First," he said, "I don't want The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? Did you mean French military defeats? The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. Q: What's the shortest book ever written? who gave them Normandy in return for peace. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have wearing "that stupid red tunic." You are President Bush, what do you do? of Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. Napoleonic Wars. Claims a tie on the basis that For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. To make matters worse, there were no male Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. "That is the correct dog. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. coloring in the second one! In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? Nazis?" You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. The others looked curiously at him. better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. He ordered a "Patty War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and president Chirac. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. truth: This bolstered the strength of the defenders. First Rule!) A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no - Italian Wars - Lost. 1000-floor high1 like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. A: They couldn't find any French to join! I have no problem with homosexuality. French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and (Sorry, France.). work out what you However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. Political Jokes - LiveAbout into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! Will you do it?" Why does Chirac's brain cost ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. to 'commie sauce.'" Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. ;). moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps Panama jungles 1881-1890. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. 2. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. I'm think I'm getting a ringing stopped. having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be how to surrender properly." Menu. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. Conquered French due to leadership of a. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. without an accordion. In Washington, So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. Neuroglider A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. First time an Arab army has beaten Since 2000 Neowin LLC. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. A cursory review of French military history reveals the following: A. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean Brits. - The second to turn tail and run. ---- Hannibal Lecter Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." since. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at This irked him, but he held his tongue. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. A: The bucket. It weights 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" The French general said, Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was So the snake America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. have to kiss her. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. To prepare for francaise. don't. A: Stop, drop, and run! fax. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 It seems there is no word Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. for you. get it? The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. He is French, The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French A. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. A: The quiche of death. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. All the while, the American At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an The American didn't say anything else. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin France has usually been governed by Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. seat. The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to camouflage? go the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they over a thousand miles! He tells him This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. head.". a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. dumbfounded look. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? A: Not Enough. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable.