Who? Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. I feel stupid! I-I-I see. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. There is no Steve here. Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. Carl: What? I mean the guy's a feeb. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! This means you guys have to go together. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. I was kickin' butt. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. This is amazing! Gosh I bet that's never happened before. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No no no no no. Steve Urkel: Whoa. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Every day for 6 months. A mouse to cheese! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, now Harriette, that's a bit harsh. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. You see, I use verbs. Steve Urkel : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? He's never used his! Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? You know what? Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully. Steve is the perfect son. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Carl Otis Winslow: No. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. When's the last time you slept? Carl Otis Winslow: I do not and keep your voice down the neighbors might hear you. Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Carl Otis Winslow: [ordering in a coffee shop] Just a bearclaw and a coffee. Please, my little Rapunzel. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! Laura: Sure, Steve. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! He's gonna drive us tonight. I'm not your personal doormat. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Carl: This baby has a remote. Aunt Oona: The gas pipe broke when my living room flooded. Carl Otis Winslow: [after picking up Eddie who was arrested for gambling] Edward, stop looking around for Steve, he's at his own home having this same conversation with his parents. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Steve Urkel: [panicked] um perhaps you mean "biosphere"? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. And I'm sorry. Rachel Crawford: Steve, are you sure you're okay? Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Eddo, Eddo, Eddo! Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Harriette Winslow: Oh no no no. Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend. Steve Urkel: What? What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? Steve Urkel - Wikipedia Steve Urkel: No, it's not okay! Wha? Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? And you got LOUDER every time you made the Maitre D move us to another table. Wha? Stefan Urquelle: You can take a bus or an airplane. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Harriette Winslow: [Eddie got pulled over by the cops, and a ticket] What was the problem? Waldo: I can't talk to girls. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. You'll never know how much time you'll have together. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. The Most Memorable Moments From Family Matters - Looper.com Eddie borrowed money from me. [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Steve Urkel's Young Neighbor On 'Family Matters' Is All Grown Up - HuffPost Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. The Nineties. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Upload. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. You don't want to get fried. 80 Clever Pick Up Lines - Use these to break the ice! - Mantelligence Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Harriette: Better add zucchini to that shopping list. The man was open all day! I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Gun, Carl. Sergeant Shishka: Don't insult my Army. [plugs the cord into the socket]. I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. The truth is you deserve a kiss. On the way to the Sizzle Club, I took a little detour to the precinct. Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. You're always sorry. Wow, are you wearing a bra? [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! right next to the bathroom. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: That's what I said, but Dad still said no. What's up? I wish I'd never done it. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Five hundred on the line. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! You made me so nervous that I had to go to the hospital to get the thimble taken off. To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers. Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. Steven Quincy Urkel: But I'm going the recommended cruising speed for this vehicle Any more could be risky. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. Urkelbot: [Kojack Impression] Who loves ya, baby! [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. No. Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. Waldo: Man, they didn't even know who we were. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! A bee to a blossom. Never snort with a hangover! Dad took Waldo instead of me. Trying to cover it up only make things worse. So, is it all right with you? I wouldn't know what to charge. Have you taken leave of your senses? [reading] "Mongu! Harriette you're the one who said you're fat. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. Get up and get your own pie! OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Or was it yellow? They help move along our sentences. There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Laura: By being born first. I'll teach you. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. Eddo. Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. No. Willie Fuffner: I don't know what you're talking about, officer. Laura: Yeah. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. A heart that hurts. The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . Three times X equals six. Steve Urkel: Laura? Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? His parents were very upset. Cool. More like The Repulsions. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, who are all these kids? Laura: [running in] Guess what? Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. I Learned Steve Urkel Had Cold Lines - YouTube Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Or are they just lame? Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Actor Jaleel White, famous for his cultural touchstone role as Steve Urkel in Family Matters, is entering the cannabis industry.Through a partnership with 710 Labs, White's new cannabis line . Steve Urkel: Really? The hot chocolate will be ready soon. It's late. Weasel: Yeah chill. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. T-Pain says Kanye West stole one of his lines after calling it - REVOLT Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Oh, good. Come here, let me give you some sugar. [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. Wha? Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? [laughs]. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. Ouchith! My mom's the one who really messed up. Chocum hi chip chok!". Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. Steve, what happened? Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. I'm starved. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Eddie: Name's Eddie Winslow, but my friends call me Eddie. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. Steve Urkel: I can't! Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? Jaleel White, the actor best known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, has launched his own cannabis brand - on the day enthusiasts around the globe enjoy a toke. Laura: Doth thou love me? Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn.